


Dark Dark Erotic Ways

by draculard



Category: Galavant (TV)
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Double Penetration, Drugs, Edited for puns, F/M, Gratuitous mention of Youtubers, Hallucinogens, Madalena and Wormwood Do Ketamine, Magical Cum Doubles as a Lubricant You Heard It Here First, Multiple Orgasms for All Parties, Two Cocks One Man, Wormwood Has Scales Down There, magical sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 02:26:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19454422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draculard/pseuds/draculard
Summary: Wormwood shows Madalena a wicked new way to do D'Dew.





	Dark Dark Erotic Ways

“There’s more to the Dark Dark Evil Ways than you could ever know,” said Wormwood. Madalena looked up from the workbench where she was busy crafting an evil brew. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw how close Wormwood was; his golden stubble was shining in the lamplight, bringing his jawline into sharp relief.

“What else is there?” Madalena asked. He looked down at her, eyes sultry and dark, and then gracefully moved to the seat beside her.

“Take this brew,” he said, stirring the potion with a wave of his hand. “A mind-enhancing little spell which throws the drinker’s senses into disarray.”

Madalena nodded, her eyes on the sparkling green potion.

“Potions of this sort are called _mien_ ,” said Wormwood. “This particular type, stronger than all others, is cooked in a kettle, and is therefore called…?”

“Kettlemien,” said Madalena dutifully.

“Very good, dear, yes.” Wormwood leaning forward, pointing his finger at the kettle. As Madalena watched, a line of glittering purple magic spread through the air, engulfing the kettle before sinking into the potion within.

“What did you do?” she asked. 

“Take a look.”

She did, leaning on her elbows and craning her neck. What she saw made her jaw drop — where the potion had been there was now only a fine powder, in the same shade of brilliant green. 

“What—” she started, but before she could even gather her thoughts to form a question, Wormwood had whipped his signature Visa credit card with the JoJo Siwa motif from his wallet and used it to scoop some of the powder out of the kettle.

“I’ve improved the recipe,” said Wormwood smugly. “D’Dew isn’t just used for power, my dear. It can be used for pleasure as well.”

And, that said, he raised the corner of the credit card to his nose, squeezed his left nostril shut, and snorted the kettlemien.

“What the fuck,” Madalena said.

“Don’t fret,” said Wormwood nasally. He shook his head, and when he opened his eyes again, his pupils were blown wide. “Try some.”

He scooped a little more of the dusty green powder onto JoJo’s flat face and held it out to Madalena. She took it, holding it gingerly between two fingers, and gave the powder a dubious look. Up close, it looked almost like crushed jade.

“What will it do to me?” she asked. 

“Oh, it’ll do everything,” Wormwood said, voice husky. Madalena still hesitated, but she trusted Wormwood — how could she not? He was her D’Dew teacher. So she exhaled slowly, shakily, and then she raised the credit card to her nose and snorted the kettlemien.

It burned going up her nose — burned like nothing Madalena had ever experienced. But when the sensation faded, she could already feel the powder taking effect. Her hands felt disconnected from her body; when she held them up before her eyes, she could see her fingers leaving glowing, beautiful trails of color in the air.

And she could feel something else, too. A warm pressure between her legs, arousal shooting through her like it never had before. Wormwood leaned into her, nuzzling against her neck, and where his lips met her skin she could feel electricity sinking deep into her nerves.

“Oh,” Madalena gasped.

“Ordinary kettlemien causes hallucinations,” said Wormwood, his teeth nipping deliciously at her neck. “D’Dew kettlemien — _my_ kettlemien — brings the greatest pleasure in the world.”

“Greater even than your threesome with Shane Dawson and Jeffree Star?” asked Madalena, mind racing. 

“Oh, Christ,” said Wormwood. “Let’s not talk about my many bisexual encounters with famous video mages, darling. Let’s just fuck.”

Madalena moaned in pleasure as Wormwood ripped open her bodice with his teeth and lavished her breasts with attention. His tongue circled her nipple, his teeth exerting just enough pressure to leave her bruised. And every little touch, every tiny sensation, left Madalena feeling like her entire body was on fire.

She had never felt this way with Galavant, she realized that now. What they’d had, while passionate, had been clumsy and weak.

This? This was _magical_. 

“Oh, Wormwood,” she breathed. His long, deft fingers were stroking gently between her folds, and she could already feel her muscles tightening, could feel herself spiraling toward orgasm. When one of his fingers slipped inside her, she was already soaking wet and more than ready for more. 

She ran her fingers over his shirt (bought from an Italian peddler named Gucci) and the feeling of silk against her skin tipped her over the edge. Her first orgasm of the night tore through her, making every nerve ending sing. Wormwood rocked his hips against her, his massive eleven-inch erection straining at his leather pants. He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered sensuously,

“The power of D’Dew grants me no less than six orgasms per hour. It changes the chemical make-up of my ejaculate, as well.”

“Jesus, that’s not very sexy,” Madalena muttered.

“No, it is,” Wormwood said. “It totally is. Look.”

He grabbed her hand and pressed it against his rock-hard cock, through his trousers. The leather, Madalena realized, was absolutely soaked with cum -- and the cum was unlike anything she’d ever seen. It was so slick her hand slid right off of Wormwood, and completely transparent, like water.

“Oh, dope,” Madalena said, eyes wide. “What is this stuff?”

“It’s a special spell called _lube_ ,” said Wormwood. “Invented it myself. Originally, it was just to sell to grooms as part of my wedding planner duties, but…” His eyes went distant even as he curled and twisted his fingers inside his cunt, like he was lost in memory. Then a wistful smile tugged at his lips. “Well, it came in handy,” he said. "The only drawback, of course, is that it dehydrates you dreadfully." He stretched past her and grabbed an open can of Mountain D'Dew off the desk, taking a quick sip.

Madalena ran her hands over the wet trousers; the kettlemien gave Wormwood’s cum an iridescent sheen, like the wings of a butterfly in sunlight. She bit her lip and undid the laces on his trousers, forcing them down his narrow hips and leaving him bare. Her senses were simultaneously sharpened and blurred, and the sight of Wormwood’s cock took her breath away.

“There’s two of them,” she said, her voice little more than a gasp.

“What?” said Wormwood, squinting down at his cock. “No, that’s the kettlemien, dear.”

“Oh,” said Madalena. She ran her finger down the twin cocks, certain that she could feel one in each of her hands. Each cock was eleven inches long and flushed a brilliant, deep shade of pink. Little scales ran from the base to the little ridge of the head. She ran her hand over them, surprised by the warmth, by the power she could feel coiled within.

“The scales feel so real,” she said admiringly. “I can’t believe it’s just the potion.”

“Oh, yeah, no, those are legit,” said Wormwood. His cocks were shining, the heads of each continually leaking the translucent ‘lube.’ “My mother was a snake. Don’t tell her I said that.”

Speculatively, Madalena squeezed the twin cocks against each other, eliciting a groan from Wormwood. She leaned forward, driving his fingers deeper into her cunt, and pressed her lips against his in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss. 

“You ready, love?” he asked.

“Oh, yes.”

He removed his fingers from inside her. They were shining with her arousal, and she watched, rapt, as he slipped them into his own mouth, sucking them clean, eyes closed in ecstasy at the taste of her. Unable to wait, Madalena pushed him onto his back, lust surging through her, and lowered herself onto both of his cocks at once.

She could feel them bulging inside of her, too long and too wide, the sensation equal parts pain and pleasure. She could feel the scales rubbing against her vaginal walls, the texture of his cocks driving her insane. And the whole time, she could feel the cum trickling out of him, too, warm and smooth and slick.

Sex had never been so easy for Madalena, nor so electrifying. She rocked her hips against Wormwood’s, raised herself up to the tip of his cocks and then slammed herself back down to the base, making both of them moan in unison. She could feel herself stretching to accommodate his magnum dongs.

“Oh, yes, Daddy,” she moaned. “Do you like it when I call you Daddy?”

Wormwood’s head lolled back, his eyes half-closed in bliss. “I like everything right now,” he said. She ripped open his shirt, laying her hands flat against his chest, her fingertips brushing over his nipples. “That, especially,” he gasped, arching his back. 

Madalena ground against him, chasing the friction from his two cocks rubbing against each other inside her, from the scales on his skin. She could feel her muscles tightening again, tension coursing through her body. Beneath her, Wormwood writhed in near-agony, so overcome by pleasure that he could barely function.

His cocks seemed to swell inside her; his hips rocked erratically against hers, and Madalena could feel herself coming apart.

Her next orgasm washed over her like a wave. She could feel Wormwood’s orgasm hit him, too, could practically see it like an aura of brilliant light encircling them. 

Kettlemien, she reflected, truly was a powerful potion.

She couldn’t wait to do more.


End file.
